Somewhere over the rainbow....

...I'm frikkin' bawling 'cause it's such a pretty song.

I figure this would be an appropriate introduction into how much of a softy I am.
Noooo..."softy" isn't really the word.
More like "sobbing marshmallow baby."
'Cause I'm so happy right now, and so drained...
Earlier this afternoon, I was going to post a stupid, angry rant about how I missed the performance of RED at a Christian festival all because some friends left me half-asleep on an air mattress, and there was a baptism I chose to go to instead of RED, and there was texting and all this crazy stuff involved. Anyway, while writing it I was getting more and more irritated, and thinking back on how badly I wanted to see RED and how my friends ditched without even seeing if I was right behind them, I got sidetracked with other trivial stuff. Eating lasagna, watching Friends with my parents, etc. The anger resided but it was still there, just hiding.
Then, I just listened to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM
My first reaction was, "Wow, what a happy song. And look! People all around the world are celebrating it." Then I listened to it again, and watched the footage more closely, and it just brought about this great upheaval of happiness.

No matter what shit I see in the world, no matter the violence and ignorance and greed and destruction, and no matter the most trivial SHIT that I obsess over, I see THIS and I'm so touched. It gives me some hope, you know? Hope that not everything is fucked up. I can see this through such a simple expression, without any spiritual complexity or inner struggle to find the truth. Just through music, or art, I'm shown that there is peace in the world.
It made my anger for missing a heavy metal concert for a friend's baptism look really stupid.
So this is a moment where I'm remembering to let go of my anger. It wastes my time and energy and gets me nowhere.
Imagine if everyone practiced this more and more. Just letting go.
I know it's hard. We're only human. We're always putting so much strain on our emotions because we're thinking all the time, and over analyzing, and not just...BREATHING.
I clicked on the link that lead to IZ's "Over the Rainbow" and there was where I burst into tears. I know it sounds kind of silly but it was like for a while I've been staring at this evil, ugly, ANGRY demon and suddenly this soft little creature of sunshine just nudged it away so I'd look at it instead. It's that "Oh my God maybe things will really be okay" feeling. And you know how sometimes when you're so worn out when you finally get to rest you just feel like breaking down?
...No?
Ah well, it was like that for me. All the energy i put into feeling angry just ebbed out and that's why I cry, man.

It's moments like these I wish I knew if my friends go through the same stuff. They're confronted with something ugly and they STARE at it until something lovely comes along and gets their attention in such a quiet and polite manner. I bet some of them get that, but I'm wondering about some friends in particular.

I'm sure everybody gets locked into a staring contest with their demons, whether it's anger, selfishness, resentment, etc. I don't know what the trick is to bring about the sweet little angel that makes you look at life and realize it's amazing, but there are ways, I suppose.
Okay...not bad for my first serious blog, huh? Or was it just...bleh?
Egh, well, I thought it'd be alright to share. That's what these things are for. Shrug.

The moral of the story is: LET GO. It's a nice feeling. :)